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A Love Supreme: A Teenager Thinks About Virginity

Jaya Jones - Dayton Youth Radio
Basim Blunt
Jaya Jones

There comes a time when we have to sit our sons and daughters down and have The Talk. Dayton Youth Radio producer Jaya Jones wants to tell us that she's already empowered herself to travel the social landscape called High School. 

My name is Jaya, and I am a 16 year old virgin. I think that this topic isn't talked about a lot of time among teens because it is assumed that everyone has the same opinion.

I remember a time when my family and I were watching a movie and a sex scene came up, and they told me and my sister to cover our ears or while they covered our eyes. And of course being a curious kid, I tried to peek. Sex was something that seemed sacred, too sacred to see or hear.

I was raised in a two parent household, with older parents who provided me with the morals that gave me the headspace to think for myself. They showed me that I am responsible for myself and most importantly my actions. They taught me to be myself. One of the ways I show this is through my sense of style; it’s bold, daring, loud and unexpected.

My thoughts on virginity are the same. I go against the popular opinion, again not really caring what people think of me. I personally believe in celibacy. I once witnessed a friend of mine get pressured into sleeping with her boyfriend just because she felt like it was an expectation.

To get more opinions on this topic I decided to hit the hallways of Stivers School for the Arts to get the perspectives of a few high schoolers on the sensitive subject of virginity.

“We're going through puberty and other changes, and it's awkward,” said Lillian. “We should be able to have a safe place to talk about sex and sex education and stuff.”

“Someone’s virginity is kind of a freedom to them. It's something you're able to choose, and no one can really take that away from you. Well technically they could, but not in a good way. It's kind of like you choose when to get rid of it or when to keep it,” said Seth.

“As long as you're consenting, you're comfortable with yourself and the other person, it doesn't matter. It's your choice,” said Brooklyn.

“My parents religion says wait until marriage,” said Christina. “But I feel like you can do it when you feel comfortable.”

The decision for teens to lose or keep their virginity is affected by social media. Sexting was a pusher for teens to lose their virginity because it's a form of peer pressure, a trap in which many have already fallen into.

It's okay to talk about things like this, to talk about something like virginity. It’s in movies, in TV, on social media. For parents out there, if you want to have this conversation with the teen in your family, don't pressure them. I think you should let your child come to you.

I did this story because it is a topic that I constantly think over. When the time comes to lie down with someone, I want that moment to be special. There is no one in the world who is better to share that moment with than someone who promises forever. That means throughout the whole of the relationship that person respected and loved me enough to wait for me. Virginity to me is a representation of myself meaning when I lose it, I am giving somebody that I trust all of me. 

Jaya Jones is a student at Stivers School for the Arts. Special thanks Leslie Rogers and Eva Maksutis of the Creative Writing Magnet. Learn more at the school's website: http://www.stivers.org/ Support for Dayton Youth Radio comes from the Virginia W. Kettering Foundation, the Ohio Arts Council and the Vectren Foundation.