One Small Step with WYSO brings together people from the region to have meaningful conversations with someone they have never met.
On today’s episode, two moms reflect on how the way they were raised shaped the way they chose to raise their own kids. Suzzy Nandrasy of Dayton and Michelle O’Connor of Miamisburg met at the Huber Heights branch of the Dayton Metro Library. Suzzy talks about breaking a cycle of fear in her household, while Michelle shares how growing up with very little inspired her to teach her child generosity.
Their stories come together around the idea that parenting isn’t about getting everything perfect. It’s about doing your best to pass along something better.
This conversation has been edited for length and clarity.
O’Connor: Do you parent differently than how your parents parented you?
Nandrasy: Yes. My father grew up being physically punished for every small infraction. And he carried that forward to his parenting, because he didn't know any different. My mom did not subscribe to that exact same level, but still there was physical punishment in the absence of knowing how to correct behavior. I think that as a younger parent I have an incredible benefit of social media and Google. So when I am unsure of how to handle a difficult situation with my kids, I have a worldwide network of young parents like myself who are potentially trying to change their parenting style from how they were parented and I can rely on those. And information is so easily attainable and I can really find what works for my children specifically. And I've seen the benefits from that and I feel pretty confident that they're pretty good humans. I've never felt the need to physically correct my kids. But they still get the "mom look" from across the room and they correct behavior. But there's no fear in my house. And I think that is the biggest difference growing up. There was a lot of fear. My dad's truck would come home from work and I would hear his truck tires on the gravel driveway and my brother and I would run to our rooms and hide. And my kids run to the door, usually with schoolwork that they've done that they're really proud of. Or a box full of play makeup, "Mom, can I do your makeup? Can I do you makeup?" Or wanting to talk about a book that they are reading. The difference in our parenting has resulted a difference in the feeling in our home, and I am very, very proud of that.
O’Connor: You should be. For the most part, I was raised by my mom and it was just she and I because my brother and sister left home and they were young. We didn't have a lot growing up when I was growing up and just living in that situation and seeing what others had — I had what I needed — but I think people should look out for each other and not everybody has the same opportunities. And those who have, in my opinion, I think could probably do okay if they maybe gave a little more. So my son saw me and what I would do. I wasn't always able to volunteer, but I would donate to different charities and make sure he knew I was donating. Not so much be like, "Oh, look at me and look what I'm doing," but "This is important, these people don't have," or "We're donating to this to take care of these animals because they need something too." And now he's a teacher and so he's giving back every day and he gives of his time and I don't know what he gives financially if anything, but definitely his time and that's important.
Nandrasy: Yeah, sounds like you accomplished your goal.
O’Connor: I did what I could.
Nandrasy: That's all we can do as parents.
O’Connor: Exactly.
One Small Step with WYSO is produced by the Eichelberger Center for Community Voices at WYSO. This series is made possible by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting and presented by the Charles F. Kettering Foundation.
