Building A Family In A Dual-Military Marriage
When most people think of a military marriage, they imagine only one spouse in the service. But dual-military marriages, where both spouses are service members, are becoming more common in every branch of the military. Today, our Veterans’ Voices series continues with Army veterans and Wright State students Loghan and Joe Young of Huber Heights. The Youngs built their marriage on the unique experiences they shared in the armed forces.
Loghan Young (LY): When I first joined the military, I was looking for something new, looking for a change to start my life fresh, and I had no intentions of getting married or meeting somebody. I was actually done with meeting people. I just wanted to focus on my career. What about you? Did you intend on finding a wife when you joined the military?
Joe Young (JY): Not at all. Actually, the complete opposite. I just wanted to focus on me, do my own thing.
LY: So what make you want to get into a relationship with me?
JY: I don’t know. I thought you were pretty cute. I wanted to talk to someone, I guess. We had something in common, so it was easy to talk. We were both about to join the military, in the same position in life. It all just seemed to make sense. I became more and more interested.
LY: Yes, the more we talked, I felt like we had more in common.
LY: So then I went to Basic.
JY: We started writing each other a lot during Basic. Almost everyday, wrote a new letter every day. Then when you came home from Basic, it was crunch time. You were going to move away and I was never going to see you again or we were going to get married and make it happen some way.
LY: So you obviously felt strongly enough to jump in and get married?
LY: And then I found out I was deploying, and then a month after that you went to Basic. Right?
LY: So while I was in Afghanistan, I just happened to be the security detail, driving around the higher ups and the Colonel, and transporting supplies, and doing convoy missions. So, luckily, I got to drive the brigade Sergeant Major and the brigade Lieutenant Colonel and they were like, “Oh, what does your husband do?” And I said, “He’s actually in Fort Lee, Virginia.” And they said, “Wow, does he want to deploy?” And I said, “Hell, yeah.” And they said they’ll do whatever to get him deployed. And I remember his name was Sergeant Major Young, and I thought that was ironic giving that that’s our last name.
JY: That’s interesting.
LY: He said, “I’ll do whatever I can to get him deployed.” And I thought sure, because they always say that.
JY: Yeah, I didn’t think it was gong to happen. When you called me that day you told me all about that, I didn’t think it was really going to happen. I didn’t think when I first got there that you would be the one to pick me up.
LY: Your first day in country, what was that like?
JY: I remember just being in culture shock being over there. Day one, I remember looking out the window and seeing a guy riding a bike holding a donkey head. I’ll never forget it. That was the moment I thought you’re not in America anymore. That’s crazy.
LY: I remember thinking the same thing. I remember seeing little kids waiting at the gate when we left and their arms were blown off. The little kids didn’t have any arms and I was like, wow. So after the deployment, I think we can home the fourth of July weekend.
JY: I was excited cause finally we got to start a life. At that point, we had been married for two years and we never even lived together.
LY: Yeah, that’s true.
JY: So I was like, finally I get to have a wife. When we get back, we’re going to do our thing and start a family and start a life together.
LY: Were you scared at all? Like you said, we were married for two years and never even lived together.
JY: No, I was pretty hyped about it.
LY: I think we had a pretty great routine after that. It was just you and I. And I feel like that’s where we built our foundation together.
JY: Right. It was nice, too, coming home from work and being able to talk about work and you understood what I’m talking about, or coming from. You understood how my life worked. It was just so much easier to relate.
LY: So you think dual-military was better?
JY: I feel like a lot of people would complain about their significant other, how they didn’t understand why this or why that, but you understood it. I didn’t have to explain anything, and it didn’t cause any problem. You just got it.
LY: I agree. That’s what always made our relationship work so well. We were always on the same page, working toward the same goal. Always.
JY: Right. The experience of serving your country and being a veteran, I appreciate the effort and guts it takes to do what you did, so it means a lot to me. It means even more to me that we both did it. I think it’s pretty sweet.
Veterans' Voices is supported by Wright-Patt Credit Union. Will Davis produced this series as part of Community Voices.