Translucent creator and host Lee Wade tells the story of a local family during a deeply personal time. Last week's episode focused on their son, Eddie, coming out as transgender. this one centers on the parents, Eric and Jackie.
The Clark family are members of the Rainbow Alliance of Yellow Springs, or “RAYS,” a community group founded by local residents to support LGBTQ+ individuals — particularly youth — and their families in the Miami Valley.
This transcript has been lightly edited for length and clarity.
Eric: We'd kind of gotten some hints that Eddie, at the time, might have been lesbian, so that was fine with us. So then from there, things just kind of progressed. And as Eddie was exploring more and more who he was, we just had to keep an eye on that and make sure that we had good therapists who could help Eddie with that journey, and we were very lucky that we did find some really good people to help us through that. But then of course COVID came along and things got very complicated.
Jackie: Yeah, the friendships were tricky because then they weren't seeing their friends in school and then they all went back to school in sixth grade and suddenly the dynamics had changed and the friendships had changed and sixth grade was really, really rough. And then, finally, the summer and into seventh grade, he came out as a boy and said I want to go by this name. And so then it was like, "oh, okay, so that's what's been going on."
Eric: But what started to creep in there was all the body dysmorphias and all of that. So there was always that "how lightly do we tread on this" versus the "how fast do we go into this?" Because clearly what Eddie needed was to build this new identity and find some way to push the old person out. And it really was, to me, just a different type of a puberty event. When you have what you might call just a quote unquote "normal" child, they go through an enormous change in their life. And when someone is transitioning, it's almost like for them, they have to do yet a second puberty, because they have to change themselves completely one more time. And that can be really, really difficult.
Jackie: Well, especially if you don't have the words or know that's what's happening. Even as parents at first it was, okay, you want some different clothes. I get it. We all go through that. Oh, wait, you're really unhappy. Oh, now you're having problems at school, which you never had problems at schools. So watching all that happen in sixth grade, we knew it was way more than just coming out of COVID or just being depressed or all the justs you can say. I mean it was just a light bulb. Like, oh, okay. That's what really happening. As well as social anxiety and frustrations and depression and being a teenager, all that fun stuff.
Lee Wade: Yeah, that's wonderful. I hope that families who are struggling with accepting their kids or accepting another loved one, they can just hear you all's story and think, okay, I need to not think so much of this transition that this person is going through and their gender identity as something that's personally going to affect me. And think about ways that they can be a little bit more supportive and have a little more affirming spaces.
Jackie: A lot of it has to be communication and talking about it and really figuring out, well, why do you want to do that? But not in an accusatory way, just being open to talking about it. I mean, I would hope that families can have those open conversations, but I know a lot of them can't. But just being able to listen to your kid and try to figure out what would make them happy.
Eric: And I think for parents, they should be willing to look at the really subtle signs of what is it that their kid is doing to be themselves instead of the kid that you are directing them to be.
Lee Wade: Our trans youth need us to see them. Not who we imagine them to be, but who they truly are. Thank you, Eddie, Eric, and Jackie for being so open and honest with us.
This story was produced at the Eichelberger Center for Community Voices at WYSO. Translucent is made possible with support from The Rubi Girls Foundation and Square One Salon.
