Over the next two weeks, host and creator of Translucent, Lee Wade, shares the story of a local family working through a deeply personal moment after their son came out as transgender.
Lee: Hi, I'm Lee Wade, and you're listening to Translucent, a series that amplifies trans voices, humanizes our community, and creates space for the real everyday conversations that don't make headlines. In the next two episodes, I'm talking to the Clark family, whose lives change when they learn that their son is trans. They're opening up about the hard parts and the love that's grown along the way. You'll first meet Eddie, their son. Who began figuring out his identity in middle school. Like many trans men, understanding ourselves often happens way before being understood by others.
Eddie: I don't ever remember really coming out, so they'd still call me by my old name and my old pronouns. After a while I trained myself to stop responding and just ignore people, but that also made them frustrated. In sixth grade, this one boy, he would hit me a lot, like in PE, and he would target me, and the teacher never really did anything about it. I think that was the first time I ran away from school. I didn't get very far because the teacher was at the copier and she came and got me. I don't think she liked me very much before that just because I don't think she ever understood. She thought I was just a really strange kid who was being bad. I told her about these really mean boys and I told her about how I wanted to be a boy but I felt like it would never happen because it wouldn't matter how I feel if they never treat me how I wanted them to treat me. But after I told her everything I've been going through, she gave me a big hug and she's been one of my favorite people ever since. It was nice when she understood.
Lee: We're both trans, but we have different experiences and your perseverance and even the way that you reflect on it and talk about it right now, you're just such a mature young man and I wish I had that same mentality. I probably would have gotten through a little bit more. I hope people listening to this learn from you and can just be better allies or better parents or better family members to their queer or trans loved ones. I definitely applaud you. You definitely have a good mindset and a good head on your shoulders.
Eddie: Back then I thought they were intentionally trying not to understand, they were ignorant and they would never understand me and all that typical teenage stuff. But now as an older and wiser person, I know that they had a lack of understanding and I wasn't doing very well to communicate my feelings besides just emotional outbursts. While it may feel impossible to explain to your homophobic Uncle John why you're trans. It is so important, because in the end, they may still not understand, but in some way, shape, or form, even in just in the slightest, they can still support you in someway.
Lee: I can relate to some of the things that you talk about, Eddie. Being bullied at school and not having the vocabulary to express to your parents or your peers these feelings. It's hard, but I applaud you for standing up for yourself and expressing how you feel so that people can listen to you and take in the things you say.
Eddie: I remember talking to a younger kid. He just came out as trans to his parents and he was like, "they won't listen to me at all and they think they're so right and they think I'm crazy" and it's like, that's just how it is. That's going to be how it is and you need to understand that you are the wiser one here and you need make them understand. It's not the other way around and it is going to take a while. It's gonna take a while. But eventually, if they love you, they will understand.
Lee: In the next episode, we'll hear from Eddie's parents as they reflect on raising a trans son and the lessons they've learned along the way. I'm Lee Wade and thank you for listening to Translucent.
This story was produced at the Eichelberger Center for Community Voices at WYSO. Translucent is made possible with support from The Rubi Girls Foundation and Square One Salon.
