On a Sunday morning, the road leading up to a Chillicothe park is pretty dead. But soon, the street will creep to life as spectators line the sides and participants race decorated caskets down the middle.
“This is the highlight normally every year of the Halloween festival,” organizer Dean O’Brien said.
This is the Chillicothe Halloween Festival’s 9th annual Coffin Races: a morbid-sounding tradition that’s actually just the south-central Ohio community’s spin on a soap box derby. Participants build a “coffin” out of wood or plastic and affix wheels. One teammate sits inside, while four strong pushers – or pallbearers – escort the casket to the finish line as fast as possible.
There’s no engine or steering. O’Brien said the race is based on sheer speed.
“We got a little bit of a slope here,” he said, gesturing to the pavement. “You get a little push off, then it's all legs. Come on baby. Bring it home.”
A corpse-themed competition
The festival organizers got the idea for the event from other community festivals, O’Brien said.
Manitou Springs in Colorado claims to have originated the idea. They began their coffin racing event in 1995 to memorialize Emma Crawford – a 19th century resident whose dying wish was to be buried at the top of Red Mountain. Decades later, her coffin came racing down a mountainside after years of harsh rains.
Chillicothe may not have the same local lore, but O’Brien said the teams take it just as seriously. Each team typically dresses up for the occasion and decorates their coffin to match.
“Your creative instinct, let it go, man,” O’Brien said. “It could be a pink bunny, I don't care. But it is the coffin race, so most people try to make it somewhat graveyard-ish.”
The Crispie Screamers, made up of local Crispie Creme bakery employees, are the defending champions.
“You need athletes, I mean real athletes to beat these guys,” O’Brien said of the donut runners.
Crispie Creme part-time employee Brenden Foltz said they’ve won the last two years. He said they’ve stuck with the same ride: a black wooden coffin with a pink donut painted on top.
“One of our previous teammates built this, and we just kept the same since,” he said. “If it's not broke, don't fix it.”
Still, he admits the competition is looking pretty stiff this year.
The Crispie Screamers are up against a new competitor: the Chillicothe Police Department. Their team, called Mystery Inc., will race a coffin holding an officer in a Scooby Doo suit.
The irony of the face-off isn’t lost on local radio host and coffin race commentator Lori Graves.
“Cops vs. donuts,” Graves said over the microphone. “Couldn't have set that up any better, could we?”
She hypes up the crowd as the two teams line up at the top of the slight hill. On her cue, a green flag flies up and the coffins come barrelling down. The Crispie Screamers pull ahead, while Mystery Inc. inadvertently veer toward the sidewalk.
It takes less than 15 seconds for The Crispie Screamers to cross the finish line.
“I almost got took out by a cop, but there we go!” Graves said. “The Crispie Screamers are the winners of the first heat.”
Good-spirited fun
They repeat the process with a third contender, whose plastic coffin is covered in skulls and cross bones. But, even it is no match for the breakfast of champions.
The donut-decorated coffin buries the competition in heat after heat and takes home the $500 grand prize for the third year in a row.
Officer Jonathan Davis said it’s not the end for the Mystery Inc. gang. They’re already reconsidering their design for next year.
“I think next year we're gonna run the caster wheels like everybody else has,” he said. “That seemed to be where the speed was pulling from.”
Come next October, they’ll be back for a rematch, he said.
Organizer O’Brien hopes that these kinds of good-spirited rivalries can bring more people – and more coffin contenders – to the festival.
The proceeds from the weekend of events are split among local nonprofits.
It’s not about which team crosses the finish line, or even the quality of their coffins. O’Brien said it’s about the community coming together to keep local services alive.
“Anyone who works this festival gets nothing,” O’Brien said. “What we get is a good heartfelt moment when we know that we help some people in the community.”
