Community members gathered for an open wedding this weekend. Harmony Creek Church invited couples to the free and inclusive ceremony.
The event organizers hoped to allow LGBTQ+ couples to tie the knot amid concerns that changes may come to marriage equality laws.
Michelle Wilkey, a pastor from Harmony Creek Church of Kettering, officiated.
“Here at Harmony Creek church, we are always going to boldly stand on the side of love,” said Wilkey during the ceremony. “And so, with that, let us celebrate love, together.”
Amy Mione and Steph Ruby shared their vows Saturday afternoon.
“I don't know how three years can feel like several lifetimes in just a couple of weeks all at once,” Amy said in her vows. “Or how two, hyper-independent people have seamlessly melded into one unit who quite literally share a brain.”
“I am grateful for every moment that I have with you because you are forever and always my favorite adventure,” Steph said in their vows.
“And now for the rings,” Wilkey said.
The couple exchanged rings, and officially tied the knot with a hand-fasting ceremony. Where, their hands were symbolically bound together with ribbon.
“It gives me great pleasure to declare to you that you are partners in life for life,” Wilkey said. “You may now seal this commitment with a kiss. Let's hear it for them.”
Seated in the rows of seats on each side of them, community members cheered as the pair sealed their commitment.
After the ceremony, the Rev. Raven Rose spoke.
“The world as it should be is a world full of love, where people are free to love as their heart has led them to love,” Rose said. “Unfortunately, that is not the world we often live in. I invite us to feel all of those emotions that come with being in that space, feel agitated, feel angry and feel love and take that energy and do action.”
Amy and Steph shared afterward that the unique ceremony was perfect for them.
“It truly was,” Amy said.
“It was the embodiment of our relationship and adventure,” Steph said.
“Our favorite thing to say to each other is, do you want to go on an adventure?” Amy said. “And the adventure could be just getting out of the car or it could be six Dalmatians in a car. Or driving cross-country.”
“Thirteen hours to take dogs to their new homes,” Steph continued. “Lots of adventures. And this was the best one.”
Volunteers decorated the venue, set up the reception, took photos and played piano. A three tier cake, bouquets, boutonnieres, and decor were donated by local businesses.
“As adults with responsibilities, children and mortgages, it's just not something that we thought that we could have,” Amy said. “But more so for me, the community and just feeling so loved. Every individual came up to us and said you are loved, you are valued. And that's not something that we get very often.
Among the volunteers was Peg Miller. She moved to New Zealand in 2005 and back to the U.S. this August. She considered moving again after the recent election.
“This time I'm staying and trying to address the problems instead of just leaving the country,” Miller said. “I felt that this was a positive step forward that I could help with. So I volunteered to help with this as much as I could.”
Sara Darrah coordinated the event and co-chairs Harmony Creek Church's “Justice League.” She started planning it while sitting with the November elections results.
“I'm a doer. I like to do something to make a difference. So I was like, how can I make a positive impact?” Darrah said.
She said the church was immediately supportive.
“That next week at church, we had our Justice League meeting and people were in tears like, how do we make a difference?” Darrah said. “How do we legally protect people? What if someone wants to get married and fear that that right may be taken away over time?”
Local organizations and businesses offered their help, like PFLAG of Dayton, Have a Gay Day of Dayton and the Kettering Pride Coalition.
“I've done a lot of different community events and fundraisers,” Darrah said. “This is the easiest one today that I've ever organized in terms of getting volunteers and helpers, which I think says a lot about the community.
Legal Protection
Following the ceremony, volunteers also offered guidance on the legal side of protecting LGBTQ+ marriages, families and estates. Lawyers and social workers helped attendees fill out and notarize documents, like a power of attorney, will and testament and guardianship forms.
Callie Heilingenberg and her partner took advantage of the free legal help.
“Its a little overwhelming for me. I’m 26 and this is a lot to think about,” Heilingenberg said. “We appreciate the support because this is not usually offered at a cheap price. And, it's really hard to figure all of this out on your own.”
Heilingenberg shared that she grew up attending church at Harmony Creek.
“I’ve seen this community work wonders,” she said. “It's incredible every time that I see the power is still there and the support is still there because people keep stomping on us, it feels like.”
Hannah Botkin-Doty said a lawyer from Columbus helped attendees fill out guardianship forms.
“The LGBTQ community has spent so much time making these families or finding their person, overcoming difficulty. They deserve to protect that. And these documents are what that's going to be.”
In a workshop, Botkin-Doty addressed the supreme court’s decision to overturn Roe v. Wade. In that, Justice Clarence Thomas identified the case that legalized gay marriage as something that also should be reconsidered.
“I reserve the right to update my opinion at any time,” Botkin-Doty said. “I do not believe gay marriage will be overturned by the Supreme Court.”
She cited the logistical difficulties of outlawing gay marriage.
“Try talking to a Social Security officer, clerk on the front lines, trying to figure out if someone's married and whether they're eligible for benefits,” Botkin-Doty said. “Multiply that by every single gay couple you know that's been married now, had children, parental rights, adoptions.”
And, she said, in the event that it does get overturned, she thinks Ohio voters would defend LGBTQ rights.
“We are protected in love by enough of a community that we are their teachers, brothers, sisters, children,” Botkin-Doty said. “The outcry would be similar to abortion. People who never vote, people who don't care or buy into the system will come out of the woodwork to support us.”
But, she shared concern for people who identify as trans or who are immigrants.
“For all of us sitting here with this wonderful privilege of being afraid of the future, these folks are in trouble now,” Botkin- Doty said. “Our role as a member of the community has not changed. It is to make the next right choice to do the least harm, to do the most good, and to try to bring others with us and extend a hand down the ladder.”